Fry Dem Green Maters!

posted May 19, 2009
  by Josh Gunn, Bachelor Chow

The inspiration of this week's column is my patio garden. Since moving to Austin and buying a condo, I've become the owner of a small patio. The previous owner left a few plants (all but one have subsequently died) and a handful of pots. The patio looked barren because it had been set-up for a little gardening, so I started buying garden gnomes.

Soon I had an army of garden gnomes who had nothing to protect. My little fellas actually seemed a bit distraught--certainly the gnome trying to tap a keg is distraught; his face looks a might frustrated (A tangent: have you ever noticed most garden gnomes have the creepiest expressions? Why do garden gnome makers give them funny/strange facial expressions? At first gnomes look cute, but when you start studying their faces a tacit horror bubbles forth . . . but I digress).

Since the gnomes seemed to yearn for something to protect, over the course of a few years I started buying plants. Many, many have died, because of the peculiar sun patterns and mostly-shady space that it is. Eventually, I figured out which plants work and which plants to not, where to put plants for sun and where to place them for shade. Most of what I have planted is ornamental, but I also grow herbs for my cooking (oregano, basil, mint, lavender, parsley, sage, and thyme) and, recently, have tried my hand at fruit and squash. This year's experiment is zucchini in a pot (which may fail, since the plant has already overtaken what I thought was a huge pot to begin with).

One fruit (or vegetable, take your pick) that I've been fairly successful with in the late spring and early summer is the tomato, and in particular, the tomato plants created for pots (sometimes termed the "patio tomato"). This morning when I awoke and opened the blinds in my kitchen, the window that opens into my garden revealed my tomato plant needed some propping. Actually, I realized I needed to pick off a handful of un-ripened tomatoes to keep the plant from collapsing under its own weight. Then it struck me: fried green tomato season is here!

Fried green tomatoes are a southern side dish popular in low country (that is, the Carolinas and coastal Georgia), the Deep South (Georgia, Alabama, and Mississippi) and Louisiana. I remember growing up my grandmother sometimes made them for me. I really didn't like them, however, until I moved away from the south and started to miss all things southern. I had never really thought about where the dish probably originated until this morning. While no one knows who invented the dish, it is likely that it became popular because of the need to pick off un-ripened maters to keep the tomato plant from collapsing under its own weight! Over the years the dish has evolved into some surprisingly delicious variations that I'll tell you about in a moment, right after I tell you how to make 'em.

There's really no need for a recipe for these, because the ingredients are simple. Here's how I remember my granny making them: cut a large green tomato in 1/4-inch slices. Dip the slice in scrambled egg or, better, egg scrambled in a bit of buttermilk. Coat with cornmeal or a cornmeal/flour mixture, and fry on both sides in some oil.

If I recall correctly (admittedly, my memory is dim), granny fried them in leftover bacon grease. This is probably not a good idea for today's health-conscious bachelor. Heck, fried anything is not a good idea, but on a special occasion I don't suppose this will kill you. Serve 'em up, with some ranch dressing on the side! Try it this summer when you can grow your own maters or pick some green ones up at your local farmer's market. These will impress your guests!

Finally, I cannot go without telling you about JoAnne Clevenger, the so-called Green Tomato Queen. She owns the Upperline Restaurant in New Orleans, and has developed a number of signature dishes with green tomatoes that have made her famous. My favorite is her version of Eggs Benedict, which substitutes the egg muffin with a green tomato (for the basic recipe, go here). Another dish that Clevenger invented was green tomato shrimp Creole! Basically, you serve the Creole over some green maters (for the basic recipe, go here). I haven't tried the latter, but I plan on doing so this week with my own maters!

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